5 Reasons Why People Leave the Amish
In this video I share five reasons people either a) decide not to join the Amish (that is, decide not to be baptized), or b) leave the Amish church after joining.
I call it “leaving” in either case (and explain that at the beginning), even though the consequences are different.
Not everyone who is born Amish decides to be baptized in the faith. And those who do, sometimes decide to not be a member of an Amish church at some point later in life. Sometime that comes relatively soon after joining. For others, it can be decades later.
What does it mean to “Leave The Amish”?
So first of all, when I say “leaving the Amish“, this can mean two different things.
- First of all, the more dramatic thing – when someone who has chosen to be baptized in the Amish church then decides they do not want to be Amish anymore. That’s where you can have excommunication and church discipline, (shunning).
- And the less dramatic case – someone simply choosing not to be baptized into the Amish church.
So here are five reasons why people leave the Amish – which can come into play in both of the above situations. These are in no particular order.
1. Wanting more formal education
First one, higher education. The Amish normally finish their schooling at 8th grade. So after the 8th grade, they’re typically going to focus on more non-formal education and “hands-on” training.
That usually means maybe helping out a home at the farm or, helping out say an uncle at his nearby furniture shop – or whatever it might be – to start to develop those hands-on skills even more. Young Amish teens are learning work skills that they will use to support themselves and their families later in life.
But there are definitely people that want more formal education. And there are stories of people who left the Amish simply for this reason.
Some of these people go into the medical profession, become doctors, for example. There are sometimes cases of Amish getting GED degrees, and staying in the church. But, typically, they don’t do higher education – in this sense meaning high school level and college.
So if you want to become a lawyer or a scientist, or have a medical career, you would generally need to do that outside the Amish church.
And it’s not that there aren’t brilliant Amish people operating within Amish culture. There are a lot of them.
They just tend to go into occupations that fit within their culture. Their education is based on experience and apprenticeships, rather than formal degrees and training. Often, these individuals run their own successful businesses.
2. Abusive or dysfunctional family situations
So dysfunction and abuse definitely exists among the Amish, as in other places.
Especially in some communities with the way the Amish church functions, this can create a situation where abuse is “handled internally” by the church – when these are really criminal behaviors that need outside intervention for the security of the victims, at the very least.
They’re certainly not always handled that way, although there have been encouraging stories about Amish in certain communities taking steps to alert authorities when abuse cases happen.
And to be more specific, I’m talking about sexual abuse, physical abuse, those sorts of things, done to children, or spouses. This exists in some Amish communities in some places.
And understandably, this can be a reason why someone might not want to remain with the church – or might not want to choose to become Amish in the first place.
3. Technology
Number three is a desire for unrestricted use of technology. Some people simply crave more technology than they’re able to use within an Amish lifestyle.
For some, that may be a car, or fancier gadgets. I’m not sure that this is a huge reason why people leave – even though, outsiders might suppose that all Amish really wish they could drive cars.
This reason can also be related to business. In fact, these two can be tied together. What do I mean? Well, a business owner might be wanting to grow his business further and might be pushing the rules within his church as a result – pushing for more technology, such as computerization, to be able to grow as he sees it. He may be getting resistance from his church. This can create a clash.
If the businesses grow too large, that can also create a power imbalance where you have the church leaders on the one hand, and then you have the business leader in the church – who maybe employs half the church district.
I think that really mainly happens if the business owner is not humble. I know Amish people who own large businesses, one in particular who owns a really large business by Amish standards, who really coexists quite well within the church.
But if the person is not humble, if his attitude threatens the church in some way, this can mean your business has become, “too large”. That can lead to situations where people want to leave the church.
But as far as desire for more tech in general, I just don’t think that this is as powerful a reason for Amish people to want to leave as some of the others. Especially if you grew up in an Amish lifestyle – and especially considering that technology use has become more liberal, to varying degrees, in Amish communities (eg., some limited smartphone use).
4. Homosexuality
Number four has to do with sexuality – specifically homosexuality. Being openly gay is not condoned by the Amish. And there’s really no avenue by which an openly gay person can exist publicly within the Amish church.
The Amish consider it a sin, and it’s just something they don’t accept in the ways that non-Amish American society does. So this is one reason that people will leave the church, or simply choose not to be baptized. For a deeper look at this topic, check out my article on being Amish and gay.
5. Religious/Spiritual differences
Finally, we have the matter of spiritual or religious differences. Some Amish-raise people simply find they want a different spiritual experience.
Some are attracted to a more evangelical approach to faith. There are outside churches who actually even recruit among the Amish and try to draw them out, to encourage them to join their churches.
There’s a group called the Charity Churches who have a lot of formerly Amish members. There have been stories about about at least one Seventh-Day Adventist church who has attracted a number of former Amish people to join – and even a Latter-Day Saints (aka LDS or Mormon) church.
So sometimes Amish people are influenced by outside outside religious spiritual influences. That can cause, or maybe rather inspire them to want to leave what some people critically see as the “rules-based” Amish church.
And to be clear – I’m not saying that’s what the “Amish church” is all about, but that’s how some people see it (for one, there are thousands of individual Amish congregations, so it’s not so easy to give a blanket statement about “the Amish” like some do).
But there’s definitely some people that want to get a different spiritual experience or understanding of God, Jesus, and salvation. And some of them may find their own way out of or away from the Amish church. Or in some cases, they may be proselytized to leave the Amish church.
6. Relationship with a non-Amish person
So before we go, here’s a “bonus” reason for you. Number six would be leaving because of a relationship with a non-Amish person.
To be married to someone in the Amish church, the other person also needs to be Amish. And sometimes people do join the Amish church from outside – in order to do just that. But it also can go the other way.
You can have a love interest that is non-Amish, and that ends up leading you to maybe not be baptized within the church, or even leave the church.
There are people who speak from personal experience out there that you can check out both on YouTube, and people who have written books, memoirs, those sorts of things (Marlene Miller of Ohio would be one example).
People who leave aren’t always negative about the Amish
Finally, I should note that people who who leave the Amish are not always negative towards the Amish. Granted, there seem to be a lot of negative stories in the ex-Amish community. And they naturally get a lot of attention.
The bad stories tend to be more dramatic and “sellable” from a media perspective, when you have someone who has bad things to say and “horror stories” about their former community to share.
That is not to take away from their experience in any way, though. You can definitely understand why people will be negative in some cases. Some have very good reason to be that way.
On the other hand, some people have mixed feelings about their Amish heritage. I think that might be the most common state people find themselves in, in fact. After all, they still have loved ones in the community, and not all memories are bad.
And some people leave the Amish but still keep very positive feelings about their former community and their culture. Maybe it just wasn’t for them, but they value a lot about their upbringing and heritage.
So there you have six reasons why people leave the Amish. Are there more reasons beyond these?
For sure, there probably are. But these are among the most common that you see when you listen to former Amish people and learn their stories. Let me know what you think, and if you have any other ideas, in the comments.
For more, see:
- Can Amish leave – and then come back?
- 3 Reasons Why Amish DON’T Want You To Join Them
- “Leave & You’re Doomed” (Do Amish Parents Really Teach This?)
- Do Amish Believe They’re The Only True Christians?
- Can you be friends with the Amish?
- 6 Reasons Why People FAIL To Join The Amish
Love Interest
Eric, thanks for sharing 5 or 6 reasons people leave the Amish. Maybe, if you haven’t already done so, share a list of reasons why people join the Amish. To your point, I’ve heard the comment that if an English man wants to join the Amish, there’s often an ongoing relationship with a female Amish woman.
Good idea; it vaguely sounds like something I might have done before, let me check! Either way, might be a good companion post.
I guess the next question is those who leave, where do they go?
Ive seen some leave to become Mennonite.
A more modern lifestyle seems to be a major reason why. Many Mennonite groups can be similar to Amish groups so they may provide some familiarity. Making the step away a little easier. At the same time, allows technology or a more modern lifestyle they may be seeking.
And there are plenty of Mennonites in the Lancaster area. I wonder if this helps draw(not necessarily intentional) some Amish away. Has the Mennonite numbers increased in that area?
A lot of times yes. Cultural and theological similarities make that an easier fit. Some churches like the Charity churches appeal to dissatisfied Amish people who want a more evangelical approach. In larger communities like Lancaster County and Holmes County there are long established Mennonite; Amish-Mennonite/Beachy churches who absorb a good number of those who leave the Old Order.
Education
The video was quite interesting. I am wondering, if an Amish person wants to get a GED at some point after completing 8th grade and remain in the church, is permission from a bishop necessary? I have never understood how Amish teachers in the Amish schools, albeit their being private schools, are qualified to teach if they don’t have a teaching degree of some sort or the credentials required by whatever state they are located. It would seem to me that those who wish to teach could have a dispensation of some kind to continue their education in high school and a college or university to acquire teaching credentials. If those who want to teach remain unbaptized in order to further their education to teach then become baptized when they do become Amish schoolteachers, I don’t see how that would be a problem unless this would be regarded as a type of threat as someone acquiring higher education might be considered too worldly and proud (??).
Amish teachers
According to one Amish 14-year-old girl who was planning to become a teacher that fall, the only credentials required of her were that she be able to read, write and do basic math. I asked her if there were many girls or boys her age teaching in Amish schools. She said there were many girls who started teaching at that age, but very few boys if any, who taught. The pay was minimal. The following year I visited her (she also made baskets) and asked her how her teaching job was going for her. She said she had quit after a few months because it was boring and the pay didn’t make it worth her while. She also told me that the Amish kids were not allowed to advance to high school. She didn’t understand why. What she didn’t know was that an educated group of people is more difficult to indoctrinate and control.
Amish teachers
Although I tend to agree that an educated group of people is more difficult to indoctrinate and control, my thoughts flew to Leninist but especially Stalinist Russia where literacy was rapidly spread throughout the Soviet Union and education was the key to advancement, especially if one wanted to join the Communist Party. The Protestant Reformation emphasized literacy in order to read the Bible for oneself. I suppose the point could be made that the Protestant groups traded one form of Roman Catholic control for another type of religious control. I recall from civics class in junior high school that an educated, literate and well informed public/electorate is the best tool of democracy so I think I’m a little bewildered about the idea of literacy/education and ease of control. I will be so bold as to say that those who found history and English classes in high school to be a “big snooze” might be easier prey for conspiracy theorists.
Amish teachers
Indeed. However, education the Soviet Union during Stalin’s time was limited to reading, writing, science and math. The government decided what students learned, read or wrote. Advanced education was encouraged in limited fields. The government controlled the media so the people only heard what the government wanted them to hear. The Amish are different in that they learn reading, writing and basic math only, and only through the 8th grade. Advanced education is not permitted because it leads to self-reflection and questions. That limits many Amish’ ability to learn critical thinking skills. It is only through critical thinking skills/an advanced education free of religious and governmental interference, that we are saved from “leaders” who would use and pervert religion and politics for personal gain.
I think you’ve pretty well summed up the reasons individual Amish leave the Amish faith. I’ve talked with several former Amish and they mention one or more of the reasons you’ve given.
Through reading The Budget newspaper for many years, I’ve also occasionally learned about whole Amish churches leaving for another church affiliation, often some other type of plain Anabaptist group. In one church I read about, when their former Amish church left for another affiliation, at least two of the families wanted to remain Amish and joined other Amish churches. Then there are church splits, where part of the church remains Amish and part of the church stays together and joins another affiliation. It seems like most of the churches I’ve read about who change affiliations are New Order Amish.
Amish people caring for their animals
I used to think that the Amish people had a special touch with their horses but I have come to a different conclusion. I have seen some of the horses when they are finished with them. They are in terrible condition. They drive them until they can no longer work and then turn them over to a kill pen. The horses are skinny and their feet look like they have never been trimmed. It is so sad that their life should end like this. It looks as though they use and abuse them and then through them away. Shame on them. Such a group of people thought to be so different.
Amish treatment of animals
Linda: You are so correct! The treatment too many Amish give their animals is often horrendous! I have rarely seen a healthy-looking Amish dog, cat or horse. I’ve witnessed abuse/neglect on several occasions. The times I spoke up about it to them, they didn’t “understand” my English, or they just walked away. I contacted the authorities about it on a few occasions and was told that wellness checks would be made, but I never saw any real changes. One way the Amish deal with a situation they don’t care to change is to hide where they do it. Around here, the authorities do not like going after the Amish unless there’s a lot of publicity attached to a situation. Over the years, there have been arrests of puppy mill owners and horse abusers. It doesn’t change anything. There is one family that does business at our non-profit that appears to care about their horse. They put a coat on it in the winter. However, that horse never looks to be at a healthy weight. Animal abuse is a huge problem in the whole country. Until the authorities strictly enforce the few laws that benefit animals, domestic or otherwise, and prosecute and convict those they arrest, the abuse and neglect will continue. You can tell a person’s character by the way he/she treats his/her animals.