Can you be friends with the Amish?

You may have heard the Amish described as a “separate people” or “in the world, but not of it“.

These kinds of descriptions can make the Amish sound like they are simply apart from everyone else – isolated somehow from the rest of us.

I think this is one thing that leads to the picture in some people’s minds of the Amish living in closed compounds. Just kind of walled off from the rest of the world. But in reality, they live among us.

Photo: Don Burke

For example, it’s very common that Amish have non-Amish neighbors living next door. They live among “English” people (English is a word the Amish use to describe non-Amish people).

Amish Belief: Separation from the world

So why do Amish believe in separation from the world? The Amish base this belief in a few Biblical passages.

One example is Romans 12:2:

“And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Not conforming to the world is a part of being separate. Among other things, it can mean not following worldly fads and fashions. To keep focus more on the spiritual Kingdom, than on man’s kingdom.

Image: Don Burke

Another passage would be 2 Corinthians 6:14:

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

What does this translate to? Well, it’s true that Amish do traditionally maintain certain boundaries between themselves and non Amish people. For instance, there’s a difference between being in the Amish church, and being outside of it, just like with any other organization or church.

There are certain commitments you make to be a part of the church, and there are certain benefits you get from that. And the Amish take that seriously.

Relationships with the Amish

Does this mean that Amish just don’t want to have anything to do with non-Amish people? That they don’t like us?

Well, absolutely not. Now there may be some examples of Amish groups that are more standoffish or stern – or less friendly or less welcoming, let’s say, to, non-Amish people.

But it’s quite common that that Amish people will have relationships with non-Amish people. They’ll have friendships with non-Amish. They’ll have business dealings with them. They have a relationship with their Amish taxi driver, for example.

Photo: Don Burke

Sometimes they become good friends with non-Amish people. And as Amish have gotten more and more active in the business world, they’ve become even more connected to non-Amish people.

They sell their products to non-Amish people, so they have non-Amish customers. A friend of mine who ran a market stand – a deli in a Pennsylvania Dutch market – would get a lot of the same customers coming in all the time.

So he got to know them and knew all the non-Amish people that worked in that market, or had stands in that market as well.

Busy Pa Dutch Market

So it’s very common. I have some good Amish friends that I visit. I go to stay with them. I stay with them for a week, a couple weeks, even basically lived with them for a couple of months at one time. They’ve even come to visit my family, coming down by train from Pennsylvania to North Carolina.

Attending Amish Church as an Outsider

And I should also say that the Amish church service itself is not something that’s closed. I’ve been invited, and I’ve gone to Amish church service many times – probably around a dozen times. It’s its own interesting and unusual sort of experience.

But that’s not to downplay that there are borders between being a member of the church and outside of it. I can attend Amish church, but as an outsider, I can’t take part in church member’s meetings, and certain special services.

And there are other examples of how this manifests – for example, the Amish do not marry non-Amish people. That noted, there are rare cases of people joining the Amish, which is difficult but also possible.

So I find that the Amish do have a belief in separation from the world which manifests itself in different ways. But it doesn’t mean that they are blocked off from us, or that they don’t want to have anything to do with non-Amish people, like they might be portrayed in some movies and media. It’s quite the opposite in in many cases.

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8 Comments

  1. Deborah

    Amish Separation

    The Amish’s ability to remain separate from the world is what will help them to survive. The world is destroying themselves, and hopefully the Amish will remain strong and able to maintain humanity.

  2. Lisa Maikranz

    Friends

    I have Amish (Swartzentruber) that I visit every year – we are very close and I feel right at home with them! I am very supportive of their wonderful life style and always remind the kids that there is nothing they will find in this world that can compare to what they have.
    I’m actually here with them now. I take pictures of their huge growing farm and they live seeing from one year to the next how it’s changed an grown. They also let me photograph inside their home. I only take pictures of them from the back while working No Faces!
    It’s a pure slice of Heaven to be a part of their lives, my 2nd family.

  3. Joseph Rothrock

    friends with Amish

    Now I have Mennonite friends. I’ve been to their place of worship, their Church in Kentucky. And I talked with Amish on a regular basis because they come in to where I work to buy items metal farm implements. And I live without modern amenities like electricity. I’m not hooked to the grid. And I live my life around God. And I do think they’re Amish will be here long after people destroy each other. I have a lot of respect for the Amish. You see cowboy movies. They didn’t have electricity back then. How settlers lived. The Amish still live that way. So I try to be a good man a servant of God and believe and treating the Amish no different than I would treat anyone else. This world would be a much finer place to live if you could live like the Amish. Less hate. More Devotion to God and their families.

  4. Amish friendship

    My wife and I started taking our horses to an Amish farrier, about 12 years ago. At first we were all cautious of each other. As time went on we have become very close. We also raised dairy goats, and helped our Amish friends when they decided they wanted to milk goats too. We quickly learned they were more “worldly”, than we expected, and I think we were more “plain” than they expected. Our friendship continues to grow.

    1. Neat to hear that Rick. I think what you describe (more worldly/more plain) is probably what often plays out when Amish and English folks get to know one another, though I’ve never heard it put that way (well put).

  5. Glenn Renfrow

    Amish Friends

    I had an Amish gentleman follow me last week. When he finally caught up with me, he told me he had just killed some chickens, and was going to fry them up. He told me to come on over, and join them. I consider them very good friends. I am friends with several who live in Kentucky, as well as in Missouri. I am welcome in their homes, anytime, day or night. I truly appreciate their way of life. I lived that way myself growing up.

    1. The way your comment started out I wasn’t sure which way it was going. Glad to hear it had a happy ending 🙂 Fried chicken is not the top of my list on ways to prepare chicken…but when it’s good, it can be really good. Sounds like you’ve got some good friends indeed.

  6. Richard Traunero

    Good friends

    We have good Amish friends in Penn and Ohio. We have stayed in their homes, and they have stayed in our home. Cherished friendships.