Amish Marriage: Beliefs & Customs

Common Questions on Amish Weddings and Marriage

  1. At what age do Amish marry?
  2. Can Amish men have more than one wife?
  3. What’s an Amish wedding like?
  4. When are Amish weddings held?
  5. Do Amish wear wedding rings?
  6. Do Amish couples separate or divorce?
  7. Can Amish remarry after a spouse dies?
  8. Do all Amish marry?
  9. Do Amish husbands control their wives?

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1. At what age do Amish get married?

Compared to non-Amish Americans, Amish get married at a young age – usually in the early 20s, though some may marry later. As baptism is required to marry within the Amish church, joining the church may shortly precede marriage. Read more on typical Amish marriage age.

2. Can Amish men have more than one wife?

No. “Amish polygamy” does not exist, and has never been accepted by Amish or a part of Amish practice.

3. What’s an Amish wedding like?

Amish weddings involve a lot of people and a lot of food. The church service is nearly the same as the traditional Sunday service, with vows occurring at the end. Amish weddings are generally all-day affairs.

older-husband-and-wife
Amish marry at a relatively young age, and do not sanction divorce.

4. When do Amish weddings occur?

This varies across different communities. In Lancaster County, they are traditionally in autumn, when farmers have concluded the harvest (from October to December). In other large settlements such as Holmes County, Ohio, weddings are more likely to happen at different times of the year (year-round).

If premarital pregnancy is involved, a wedding may be move up or held out of season. More about Amish wedding season.

5. Do Amish wear wedding rings?

No. Amish do not wear jewelry, which they feel encourages pride and individualism.

6. Do Amish couples separate? What about divorce?

Separations can and do occur among Amish, though divorce is considered highly taboo, and would be grounds for excommunication from the church. Amish consider wedding vows to be binding for life, however they realize that marriages may need help to succeed.

amish-couple-in-carriage
For the Amish, marriage is a commitment for life

7. Can Amish remarry after a spouse dies?

Yes. In fact, this is fairly common. Amish re-marriages can result in some very large blended families. Read more on Amish remarriage, or about the family of John and Caroline Troyer, perhaps the largest Amish family ever.

8. Do all Amish marry?

No. Every Amish community of significant size contains a fair number of male and female singles. Single Amish people may live at home with parents or in a separate small home built on the home property. Single siblings of both sexes in some cases live together.

9. Do Amish husbands control their wives?

While the male is officially considered the head of household, in healthy Amish marriages the Amish wife’s voice is recognized as valued and essential to the functioning of the relationship and the home.

Amish women do often defer to or consult with their husbands on larger financial decisions. Amish men may ostensibly be the public head of the home, but in numerous Amish homes, women wield a lot of influence. Read more about Amish women’s rights.

More questions on the Amish? Get answers to 300+ questions in 41 categories at the FAQ main page.

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Image credits: Married Couple- cindy47452/flickr; couple in buggy- ShipshewanaIndiana

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    5 Comments

    1. Morgan

      What percentage of Amish people get married?

      What percentage of Amish people get married?

    2. R

      It’s not fair that the Amish would shun people for getting a divorce. Divorce is permitted in cases of adultery by the Bible, so those getting divorced for that reason should still be permitted membership.

    3. Hosanna

      Do Amish women have rights in marriage?

      I find it so interesting what you have written. I grew up Amish. I know some couples are VERY happily married. But, overall don’t you think this way of life is hurtful to women? You can value a dog, but it is still a dog. Same for women at times in these churches. https://growingupamishmichigan.blogspot.com/2022/08/how-do-amish-and-plain-girls-get.html

    4. cesar

      can an older amish man marry a younger amish woman? like 50yo and 20yo?

    5. Igor

      Looking for a wife from the Amish community

      How to marry an Amish girl?