“Modem” and “Log on” are my favorites. I came across this old Facebook post by Sol’s in Berlin, a store in the heart of Holmes County, sharing the “Amishman’s Guide to Computer Lingo“.

I’m not sure who the original author is, but this appeared in the Vendor, a Plain community newspaper. It was passed on to Sol’s by one of their Amish employees:

One of our Amish employees saw the Amish-man’s Guide to Computer Lingo in the popular Amish publication ‘The Vendor’ and wrote it down to show us.

We got such a kick out of it we decided to make it a picture for your enjoyment, too!

I got a chuckle out of this, and I can see plenty of Amish readers who know something about computers enjoying it too. Here’s the guide:

An Amishman’s Guide to Computer Lingo

Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.
Windows: What to shut when it’s 30 below.
Log On: Making the wood stove hotter.
Hard Drive: Getting home during the mud season.
Micro Chip: What are left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Download: Getting the firewood off the wagon.
Megahurtz: What you get when you’re not careful downloading.


For that matter, are these computer terms really so unknown to Amish people? I think that for many, especially in more conservative places, at least some of the above terms would not be familiar.

But with smartphones prevalent among youth in some communities – and some adult Amish using computers at their workplaces (and smartphones in some businesses) – that may be less and less the case. Not to mention the use of quite high-level technology in some Amish companies.

Either way, Amish people typically have a healthy perspective on how their relationship to technology might look to outsiders. And they aren’t afraid of enjoying some humor about it.

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