Stan Wesner 1946-2014
My father passed away two weeks ago, having been diagnosed with mesothelioma back in March.
Following surgery in July, we were hopeful, but shortly thereafter learned that the cancer had already spread, and there was little more to be done. We lost him a few weeks later, at home.
When you read about mesothelioma, a rare, aggressive disease which comes from asbestos exposure, you learn it is not really a cancer with a cure or much of a long-term survival prognosis. But we expected to have him weeks if not months more.
So losing him so soon was both expected and unexpected–something that sits lurking in the back of your mind, and a shock at the same time.
Among many things I could share about my father, I can say he really appreciated the Amish. I think they reminded him of his own upbringing, growing up in a family of seven children in small-town North Carolina in the 1950s.
He liked the simplicity of what he saw among the Amish. He liked to talk with them about picking tobacco, a job he had as a young man helping his family make ends meet. He appreciated the family time, without all the distractions.
Some years ago he and my mother made the trip to Lancaster to accompany me while delivering books to my Amish customers. I remember when we got to the Zooks’ farm, he stopped and stood soaking in the beauty of the place. I could tell he felt something special there.
We ended up becoming good friends with the Zooks. Dad came along with me to visit on three other occasions, most recently last summer. They visited us in NC as well. And we were moved when two of the family came by bus to Raleigh for dad’s funeral, a 10-12 hour journey each way, to be here basically a single day.
There is a lot more I could say about him. But with things so fresh I think I’ll leave it at that, and at least let you know why things have been a little quiet around here.
Dear Erik,
My condolences on the loss of your father. We will keep you in our prayers.
Lord bless you and your family,
Forest
I’m so sorry, Erik. I had been wondering why things were so quiet on AA recently. Thank you sharing about your dad.
Dear Erik,
I’m very sorry about your loss of your dad; it would seem you get your kind manner and appreciation for the truly important things in life from him, that’s a wonderful gift to have received from your father and a beautiful testimonial to your dad’s life.
As you navigate this sad and difficult time I hope you and your family are surrounded by great support and love to help you heal. Nothing really prepares us for the death of those we love, it’s always a shock, always… whether the cause is sudden or their passing is expected, we’re never really ready. Life changes in that moment and will never be quite the same as it was. Their death is not something ever gotten over, instead we learn to make peace with that loss, to accept it, to carry on with life and remember with gratitude.
Again, Erik, I’m very sorry about your dad’s illness and his too sudden death. Please, accept my condolences and sympathy at this sad time.
Gary
I did notice the lack of posts.
Please accept my sympathy and care.
Sympathies on your loss
Dear Erik,
I read your post to my son, Mark, and we both want to extend our sincere sympathies to you. Your Dad wasn’t that much older than my son, Mark. He just had his 62nd birthday. I’ll be 92 in November. We are never ready for the passing of a loved one. My wife’s last illness was long and lingering. Death was expected at any time. Yet, it was still a shock. My son, Jeff, passed away suddenly. That was a shock. I don’t know that Charline’s death was any easier because it was expected and Jeff’s wasn’t. Death is just hard to deal with. Mark says that the Amish believe that death should be the most natural and expected of events. Everyone dies. Why is it such a shock? Mark says the Amish believe that death isn’t that important. We must all die. It’s how we lived when we were alive that matters. Did we live for the Lord. Mark says that the
Amish believe that we should live everyday as if it were our last. We should always be prepared to meet God.
Yet, the Amish grieve and miss their loved ones, too. But they really have a lot of support during the process.
Maybe we can’t provide your family with that same level of support but we will pray for you and your family in this time of sorrow. God can bring you peace and comfort. God bless you.
All my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God’s love and healing be with you in this difficult time.
Prayers For Your Family
I am praying that God gives you the strength to get through this most troubling time. Losing a loved one, no matter what age, is devastating. I lost my father when I was 32 and my mother when I was about 44. They were hard times, because we hope they will be around for ever. I still talk to my mom and dad, hoping they can hear me and guide me in what ever I do.
May God hold him in the palm of his hand
My sincere sympathies to you. Peace be with you and with him.
My sincerest condolences
Erik,
I am very sorry to hear of your dad’s passing. This must have been a very challenging summer for you. Your dad seemed like an interesting person. Thank you for sharing about him. I hope that you find the time to rest and heal. I hope that you are with your family and that you’re able to support one another.
Again, I’m very sorry for the loss Erik.
Best,
Noah
My condolences
May he rest in peace – my sincere thoughts of comfort and grace to you and your family at this time.
Kind regards,
Liz
So very sorry for your loss! May you feel God’s comforting arms around you. Blessings on the beautiful tribute!
SO SORRY FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR FATHER. I HAD NOTICED YOUR POSTS WEREN’T REGULAR.
Condolences
Please accept our sympathy. May God be with you and comfort you and your family. Prayers are going out on your behalf.
I am so sorry for your loss, Eric. God be with you and your family.
Stan Wesner 1946-2014
So sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad in 2009 and still miss him so I can appreciate how you are feeling. Our prayers and sympathy to your family.
My prayers and sympathy to you and your family.
Marcus Yoder
Stan Wesner 1946-2014
Erik… the Lord be with you and give you strength.
God bless Stan Wesner.
My heart goes out to you Eric.. Having loved ones move on to the Other Side is tough.. and worse when that devil C takes them away.
I know hes in a much better place.. We’ll all meet again on the Other Side.. always remember that.. Its not forever..
Godspeed.
Kim
Thinking of you………….
So sorry to hear of your father’s death. Prayers and hugs are coming your way.
Erik, So sorry for your loss. The cancer diagnosis is so scary. When my mom received her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer 4 years ago, I began the grieving process on the spot. She lasted the usual amount of time, about 9 months. I’m so sorry that you didn’t have more time with your dad.
I’m so glad that he was the man he was, to raise you with an interest in simple living that brought you to the Amish lifestyle.
God bless and take care.
Thank you for sharing with us a short glimpse of your father. I love that second picture and the joy it captures. Floyd’s and I would like to let you know you are in our hearts and prayers.
I’m very sorry to hear about your father’s passing. My condolences to you and your family. I pray for God’s comforting hand upon you.
My deepest sympathy to you and your family on your loss. Will keep you all in my prayers and thoughts during this difficult time.
I’m so sorry about your dad, Erik. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Thank you for sharing a bit of him with us.
Thank you
So many kind and eloquent words here and in my inbox. I know now a lot of you have felt the pain of losing a parent too.
Having come to know you as readers over the years, I am not in the least surprised by your warm and generous outpouring. This brightened my day, and I think my family will appreciate this as well. A sincere thanks everyone, for your kind thoughts and prayers.
Gain & Loss
Erik,
Having lost my dad unexpectedly, I have an idea of how you may feel. From your post it is clear you had a great relationship with your father. It takes time, but we move forward by remembering all we have “gained” by knowing loved ones, how they have enriched our lives — and not their loss.
condolences
I am so sorry to hear of your father’s passing, Erik.
My heartfelt condolences go out to you, at this time, to you and your family.
Gordon Bjorkman
Dear Erik,
I’m sorry about what happened to your Dad.
I wish you and your family will be able to cross this trial with hope and serenity.
Even I didn’t know im personnaly, I feel sad with you,
and I’m joining you and your relatives with my modest prayers.
May the Lord welcome him in his peace.
Hang on,
Bob.
Good morning
Good morning Erik
I am almost a daily reader of your column and want to extend my sincere condolences for the loss of your Dad.. In the beginning I said, “I want to meet this guy some time”. Now I say, ” I will meet you one day”. Writing is a bit of a hobby for me,so when I can, I like to meet ‘real’ authors of quality work. Having been a friend of the Amish, for years, but having no Amish friends, I am hoping to change that also.
The brief, but moving synopsis of your Dad’s relationship with you and the Amish brought tears to my eyes, for a moment, and then I decided to ‘fix’ that with a note to you, before I start my busy day.
As a life-long as as well as a life-style farmer, I have admired the farming techniques of the Amish, have studied the economics, through writings of Wendall Berry and many others but have yet to successfully incorporate enough of that ‘good thinking’, into my farm.
And finally, as a cancer survivor, I try to reach out to those who have lost and learn about their situations and their loved ones. We, at Indian Stream Farm, in Pittsburg, NH, will say a little prayer for you and your family, at breakfast, this morning.
May god be with you,
John
Condolences
My sincere condolences to you on the loss of your father. May your memories of him bring you comfort in the days and weeks ahead, and may his memory be for a blessing. We lost my father in law 9 months ago and I deeply understand how painful such a loss is.
My condolences Eric. I pray for your strength during this challenging time.
Erik,
My condolences to you and your family. Your Dad and I were born in a great year! Tom The Backroads Traveller
In Loving Memory
Thank you for bravely sharing from your personal life a memory about your father. Perhaps your world seemed to stop on Aug. 24. May God comfort you in your hour of sorrow. If you are lonely, may you feel friendship, Erik.
“Better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all.”
How special that your Zook friends came to the funeral!
Some credit should go to your father for raising a fine son!
Szczere kondolencje
Tak trudno żegnać na zawsze kogoś, kto jeszcze mógł być z nami.
Z ogromnym bólem przyjęliśmy wiadomość o śmierci Pana Wesnera.
Całej Rodzinie i bliskim przekazujemy wyrazy współczucia.
Legomscy
I am so so sorry for your loss my friend. I will be praying for all of you.
I said a prayer for you and your family
May God bless you and your family,in this time of sorrow.
I am so sorry for your loss. You and the family are in my thoughts and prayers.
So sorry to hear of your father’s death. I lost mine a couple of years ago and I miss his laugh and his advice every day. You know, I hope, that your grief is remembered by many; it feels like you are a personal friend to all of us who read this blog.
So sorry for your loss, Erik. Thanks for sharing about your father; that was soooo special.
May the Lord give you strength for each new day…
Dear Erik,
I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your father. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Lee Ann
Dear Erik,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I’m very sorry for your loss, and empathize (to a point) with you; I lost two of my grandparents a few years ago, and one of them was a great shock to me and my family. Thanks for sharing about your father, he sounds like a great man. Very good story.
— Jess
Condolences
Erik – So, so sorry to hear this, deepest sympathies to you. Your Dad sounds like a great guy. My thoughts and prayers are with you – Kevin
Erik, my sincerest condolences and kind thoughts go out to you and your family. What a beautiful tribute to your Dad–thank you for sharing. I, and I’m sure I speak for all of your readership, can now better understand where your hardworking, humble, fun yet rigorous persona comes from. As the proverbial saying goes, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Condolences
Sad to read that your father died. Wish you and
your family the strength to handle the passing of him.
However i didn’t know him personnaly, I feel sad with you
because you became a kind of friend by doing this Amish blog.
All the best for you from the Netherlands,
Frans
So very sorry-
Erik,
It really is hard to find words-the pain must be great for the loss- we are knowing any moment a dear friend will go on to be with the Lord and it hurts to think of those suffering with the ‘missing’. Your dad’s countenance reveals such warmth- the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree-
Personally I have not lost parents yet to know that great pain-
May you and your family feel the love from the Lord and comfort He provides through the many prayers-to the Lord, it is gain as it says:
Psalms 116:15
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.
In Christ
Valerie
Sorry to hear about your Dad’s passing, he was blessed to have such a loving and caring son like you. May your life be a memory to the man he was.
I am saddened to hear of your father’s illness and precipitous passing. As has been said, life is fragile; death is certain – as is the love of God. Your father lives on in you and those who knew him best. His faith, strength, and integrity are evidenced by the values you live. Your father really is still with you in the innermost parts of your being. Along with the many on this site, I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Allow God to comfort and hold you in His tender care.
Loss of father
My sincere condolences to you on the recent loss of you father!! Mine passed last Oct 9th at 83 from Vascular Dementia! It was a cruel journey as he lost his memory and didn’t recognize me as his daughter! He couldn’t talk, or even swallow! Had to wear adult diapers as well! ;(
I have seen the television commercial about a lawyer team wanting to represent families who have lost their loved ones due to this type of cancer! I believe it is asbestos related! Prayers for you and you’re family! o;)
God bless you, may he rest in peace.
Sorry to hear of your loss
Erik,
I have been focused on a number of other things lately and AA was one of the things that took a back seat for a little while. I am just now getting a chance to go back and read some of the posts that I missed.
I was saddened to read this post of your fathers passing. My dad died suddenly and quite expectedly at age 59, some 35 years ago. My mother passed away at age 93 last September from kidney failure. She also had Alzheimer’s, so obviously we had a long time to prepare for it. I am not sure that either way makes it any easier though.
I hope that the passage of time, short as it may be, has somewhat softened the blow of your loss. May God be with you and your family as you move forward.
Stephen Rogers