Stan Wesner 1946-2014
My father passed away two weeks ago, having been diagnosed with mesothelioma back in March.
Following surgery in July, we were hopeful, but shortly thereafter learned that the cancer had already spread, and there was little more to be done. We lost him a few weeks later, at home.
When you read about mesothelioma, a rare, aggressive disease which comes from asbestos exposure, you learn it is not really a cancer with a cure or much of a long-term survival prognosis. But we expected to have him weeks if not months more.
So losing him so soon was both expected and unexpected–something that sits lurking in the back of your mind, and a shock at the same time.
Among many things I could share about my father, I can say he really appreciated the Amish. I think they reminded him of his own upbringing, growing up in a family of seven children in small-town North Carolina in the 1950s.
He liked the simplicity of what he saw among the Amish. He liked to talk with them about picking tobacco, a job he had as a young man helping his family make ends meet. He appreciated the family time, without all the distractions.
Some years ago he and my mother made the trip to Lancaster to accompany me while delivering books to my Amish customers. I remember when we got to the Zooks’ farm, he stopped and stood soaking in the beauty of the place. I could tell he felt something special there.
We ended up becoming good friends with the Zooks. Dad came along with me to visit on three other occasions, most recently last summer. They visited us in NC as well. And we were moved when two of the family came by bus to Raleigh for dad’s funeral, a 10-12 hour journey each way, to be here basically a single day.
There is a lot more I could say about him. But with things so fresh I think I’ll leave it at that, and at least let you know why things have been a little quiet around here.
So so, sorry about losing your Dad to Cancer.
My Mom Pass-away to Cancer as well,
Mayo said, that it would be too late to treat, and therefore, did not make sense to her to suffer after the Surgery, that she Obviously Post Pond, went to France to enjoy her last days their,
as I was the last of 3 Sons to see her.
With deepest sympathy –
Father's Passing
Stan, extending sympathy on your fathers passing two weeks ago. I lost my father as well to pulmonary fibrosis lung disease which was believed to be caused from years of suffering from RA. It’s a comfort to know he is in the arms of our Heavenly Father. May God Bless. Christine
Hi Erik,
The good thing is he lived and died loved. You will always have the good memories and now he is out of pain. There is never a good age to lose someone.
Tom
so sorry
I am so sorry for your loss. He will always be in your heart.
Erik, my sympathies in the loss of your dear father. What a loss when we lose our parents. God bless.
Mr Stan Wesner
I am so sorry for your loss Erik. My prayers go up for you and your family.
Condolences
My condolences to you, Erik. Be well.
Erik,
You have my deepest sympathies. You and your family will remain in our prayers. I lost my father quicker then we thought too many years ago, battling a cancer. But not a day goes by now that I dont think of him. So in many ways hes still with me. Im sure your father will be that way too.
Kevin L.
your father's passing
Sorry to hear of your loss, Erik…that column was a nice tribute to him. Praying for your comfort in this time of loss.
my deepest sympathies
I, too, am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is something you can’t understand until it happens to you. I am glad you have such good memories to comfort you. I am in my upper 30’s and lost both of my parents during the last three years. They were both in their 60’s so they were taken so much sooner than I ever imagined. You are in my thoughts and prayers. From a fellow Tarheel
Prayers!
Stan Wesner 1946-2014
sorry to hear about your loss ….
remember to count your few and many blessings
and remember hes always watching over you
So sorry....
I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. I pray that you find peace in this difficult time. God bless….
I am sorry to hear about your Father’s passing. You have so many great memories. He was a very special person. My Dad and Mom passed away many years ago and still they are in my heart. You Father is in your heart.
Marilyn
So sorry for your loss. I, too have lost my dad and I know how deep that pain runs. May the peace and comfort of the Lord be upon you and your family.
In Sympathy!
Our deepest sympathies to you and yours, Erik; we will try to remember you in prayer as you deal with your loss.
It is at times like these that we appreciate our Anabaptist heritage most. The brotherhood and fellowship is much more valuable than the exact way that we live. My father passed away four years ago at the age of 90, after extensive memory loss so we rejoiced to see him able to go. And yet, I often dream of the times when he was still with us.
I am sorry for your loss, but may your loss be his gain. May god grant you what is needed to carry on…
Prayers & sympathy.
No one is truly dead so long as they live in the hearts and memories of others.
Praying for peace and comfort to you and your family.
Typo — May God grant you what is needed to carry on…
Condolences
Erik: My heart hurts for you, and my prayers go to you and your family. Peace be with you.
My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
So sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to lose a parent, especially when he is not only a loving parent but also a good friend
How beautiful that you could share your passion for knowing the Amish with your father. You have wonderful memories to hold in your heart. Prayers to you & your family.
You Dad
My mom died almost a year ago. She had almost the same diagnosis as your dad. She was from Rockingham, North Carolina. Now she is with Jesus and so is your Dad. And like my mom watching over me, your dad is watching over you. He still is there for you. Never forget that.
A lovely tribute, Erik
We are sorry for your loss. Sixty-eight seems to be too young to die. But we are glad for your good memories and your loving tribute. We enjoyed meeting Stan at the Zooks a couple years ago. He was obviously at ease with them, with us, and with himself. You have a goodly heritage. We continue to pray for your healing from the your father’s loss. Rich and Polly Stevick
My Sympathy To You And Yours
Thank you for sharing a few precious memories of your father. I lost my dad 4 years ago, and I think you will agree that having such a wonderful father makes them even harder to give up. I know that you are glad to have such good memories. Praying for you, and your family..
Blessings
To you and your family on the passing of your dad……it is 11 years this month, 9/22 to be exact, that my dad died and while the pain is less acute, the laughter that is missing is ongoing……God Bless as you navigate this next chapter of life…..
Condolences
Sincere condolences on your father’s passing. He sounds like a fine and gentle man and that you have been blessed with many happy memories of him. I’m sure he is encouraging you to continue your fine work and will be with you all the way.
My heart hurts for you and your family, Erik. Please know that you all will be in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time. May the Lord bless you with sweet memories and laughter about the good times, as you face the tears. I know he was a wonderful man, because you are a man of character and integrity. (((Love and Gentle Hugs)))
So sorry to hear of your loss. Having lost my own dad to brain cancer in 2006, I know exactly how that feels. My dad had been diagnosed in March of that year and passed away in October. May it comfort you to know others have you and your family in their thoughts and prayers. Praying that the God of all comfort give you peace and healing, and strength for the journey ahead – a journey of having to go on without your dad with you.
Deepest sympathy
You have my deepest sympathy in your loss. Praying for God’s comfort for you and yours,
Blessings,
Marta
Sympathy
John+I wish to extend our deepest sympathy to you, Erik, and your family on the loss of your precious Dad. May our Lord envelope you all with His comfort and peace now and always. In Christ, John&Carol Lukaszewicz
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. It isn’t easy to loose a parent. God bless the Amish who made the long trip. Your father touched them as well.
So sorry for your loss. Prayers for peace of mind and heart.
Oh my, Erik, I am so sorry to hear of your father’s passing.
Thank you for sharing this piece with us, the Amish America community, it must have been cathartic to at very least share it. We can tell that this tribute is heartfelt and full of love.
I am certain your Father has many legacies in this world, most important among them being the decent and respected children he raised. You’re a good man, Erik, and a person can tell how good a man Stan Wesner was by who you are.
My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Saddened to learn of your loss.
Terry
sincerest sympathy
Erik, I would like to add my deepest condolences to those already shared. My heart grieves with you. Take time to grieve.
Loss of Father
Erik so very sorry for the loss of your dear Father. Just want
you to know you are in my prayers. God bless you and family. Patti
in VA
So Sorry, Erik
Beautiful words for what was no doubt a wonderful man. There are no words to lessen the sting of the loss, but know there are lots of folks that stand beside you as you walk this path. And I pray that the peace that only God can give comforts you heart through it all.
Deepest Sympathy
Erik,
Your post was a great tribute to your father. I am so sorry he was taken so quickly. No matter how much you brace yourself knowing that a loved one is dying from cancer, it still leaves a hole in your soul when they go. I hope happy, gentle memories of your father soon replace the pain of your grief. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to all of you.
Your dad's passing.
Sorry to hear about your dad’s passing. I myself was born in 1949 in Germany and we moved to the US in 1963. It’s quite possible that I’ll be going down the same road as your dad since I spent 38 years installing linoleum, which formerly had an asbestos backing as did the old vinyl asbestos (VA) tiles. Guess all I can do is keep my fingers crossed.
Best regards,
Wolfgang
Wolfgang, I am sorry to hear you might have had asbestos exposure. I am not a medical professional, but I was thinking you might consider checking into the possibility of screening for it. Though the outlook is generally not good for mesothelioma, there are some treatments in terms of chemo, radiation and a couple of surgical options.
I remember reading stories of people who had better outcomes (in terms of years rather than months), and it seemed those often had the disease caught earlier (Stage 1). I read about cases when the disease was found accidentally, when they were getting an X-ray or CT scan for something else, and when the disease really wasn’t producing symptoms yet (mind you, this is all anecdotal/my memory of what I read 5 or 6 months ago).
After reading those kinds of stories, I found myself wondering why they don’t check regularly when people have had known exposure (and maybe they do, but at that point we were already into the illness so I didn’t follow up). It’s possible there is not a consensus on the value of screening, or maybe the tests are not as good as they’d like them to be, or maybe catching it earlier isn’t as beneficial as I am assuming it might be.
However it may be worth asking a professional who knows mesothelioma about this, to get the latest information. Given its relative rarity, there aren’t a ton of oncologists/surgeons who specialize in mesothelioma, but they are out there.
I believe most people have the experience of my father, whose disease wasn’t caught until he had obvious symptoms, at which point it was already further along.
Anyway, my understanding is that not all those who have been exposed will necessarily develop the disease, and it can take decades to manifest if it does.
I guess my main point here is that it might be worth looking into these things (you or anyone else reading this that is worried about possible exposure)…even though no one really wants to think about it, and not to cause undue worry, but it may be worthwhile to check out given your history, even if you never develop the disease.
Again, sorry to hear you had to deal with asbestos and I hope your health stays good. I realize you may already be aware of all this, but feel free to drop me an email if you want me to share anything else that might be helpful from the experience (ewesner@gmail.com).
I extend to you and your family my sincere sympathy.
With heartfelt sympathy
Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your beloved father. I know how much this hurts. I lost my father in 1997, and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him like crazy. I know you know he loved you, so as a survivor of grief, just know he is still with you in spirit.
Godspeed.
Erik,
What a beautiful tribute! Thank you so much for sharing your love for your father and the beautiful memories with us. My prayers are with you and your family. God bless!
Thinking of you
I would like to add my voice to the chorus of condolences in this time of grieving. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
Peace be with you
Erik, as you know, my sympathies are with you and your family. I can tell it meant a lot to you that your Dad was also fond of the Amish & their culture…a special bond between both of you.
We’re all here for you, Erik, should you need a “few” virtual ears to listen to anything you need to share about your father. You were blessed to have him in your life into adulthood, something I missed having with my own Dad who died too young.
God bless!
Alice Mary
Prayers
Erik, you and your family are in my prayers for comfort during this time. Blessed are you with wonderful memories.
Erik, Sorry to hear to this news about the passing of your father. This is a very nice article in his honor!
I pray that you will be comforted as you go through this time of grieving. It is a blessing that you have these fond memories of him. These will stay with you the rest of your life. His life has made an impact on you, and I’m sure many others. I will say a prayer for you and your family this morning. God bless you! Psalm 34:18