Amish Cook Gloria Yoder: Widows’ Gathering Provides Comfort

Several years ago, Amish Cook columnist Gloria Yoder faced one of the toughest tragedies imaginable, when her husband Daniel was killed in an accident. In one of her latest columns, she share a moving account of a gathering of widows she recently attended as she continues to heal.

The gathering was held at a Mennonite church in Worthington, Indiana. Gloria herself is a member of a New Order Amish church in Illinois. So as far as Amish/non-Amish/Mennonite, this may have been a mixed gathering, it’s not totally clear.

But for their part, this sort of thing is not uncommon for the Amish. As part of their internal support systems, they have regular gatherings – often called “reunions” – for people dealing with illness, loss, and other trying situations (as well as “happier” circumstances where people are united by a common thread like hobbies such as birding or even people having the same birthday or name).

The Widows’ Gathering

Several passages in Gloria’s account struck me. First, this is what happened when she arrived – and you get the idea she’s still maybe still adapting to the notion of being a widow at such a young age:

First thing upon arrival was registration where we signed in and wrote out name tags. “Gloria Yoder”— yes, that’s me — at a widows’ lunch! But it was okay. I was not deprived or cheated to be where I was called to be as a “husband-less” individual. I joined the large circle of ladies who were gathering in the back of the auditorium of their church building.

Cousin Deborah, who spent most of her years minus an earthly father, took the lead, welcoming everyone and making announcements. We handed the mic around the circle and introduced ourselves.

There was no way I could remember all the names, yet there was that deep feeling inside that told me that each of these 50 ladies had their own story. (How I would love to have all of you who have walked this path sit around my table and share your own story with me!)

The ladies took turns sharing their stories, which you can imagine was probably not easy for many. As she was preparing herself to share her own, Gloria took encouragement from a sweet source:

God knew what I needed; before it was my time to share, the sweetest, most innocent little choir stood to sing. Over 20 children ages 3-6 lined up where they sang “Jesus Loves Me,” “I’ve Got the Joy, Joy, Joy,” and “Build Your House Upon the Lord.” I was soothed, yes, I was encouraged.

I found this passage, an activity where the widows were able to recollect characteristics of their husbands in a “game”, to be very touching:

On a lighter note, a button game came next. Buttons were strewn over the tables, then each of us was allowed a button for any question that was read off to which we could answer with “yes.”

They all kind of revolved around life during and since the time with our husband. There were things like: Take a button if your husband had blue eyes, or take a button if your husband had eggs for breakfast.

And finally:

By mid-afternoon we were dismissed. It was good to connect with widows in various stages of life. I especially enjoyed talking with one lady whose husband passed when she was also 32 years old. Her story left me spellbound — at the time she was widowed she had a set of triplets who were four and a one-year-old.

Yes, time moves on, her daughters are grown. Dear ones, right now we only have today. What will we choose to do with it? The memories of it may be vivid or dulled by tomorrow, but our choices will affect the destiny of our soul. “Lord, lead us in all You have for the moment!”

Read the whole thing here.

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